What Are Valued Opinions?

4:53:00 AMKrishna Rao

What are valued opinions? 
Why this indecision? Why can we not decide anything? Why does it matter what others say to us? Is their opinion so much important to us? Why do we look upon others and seek their approval when we are doing something personal or professional?  
Often we hear these questions- How do I look? Is this alright? Should I go and change? Which color looks good on me? Do you think I should wear a little jewelry for that function? Am I looking overdressed for that occasion? 
These insecurities often dog human beings. The inadequacy that they exhibit in themselves makes you feel that they might have had a terrible childhood. Maybe one of their parent was too dominating. He or she might have ruled their world with an iron grip, not allowing anyone to disobey their commands. Or it could be the case of a dominating husband or wife. A doormat of a spouse shows such indecision in the world. Every household has a tyrant on board. They make others squirm with their glare or offensive statements. Sometimes they use force or coercion. Threats and beatings are a norm too. It is because of such circumstances people tend to become inwardly drawn and less reactive. Silent or just not responsive. Some seethe internally while accepting the verdict forced on them. 
There is no free expression in most of the households. No one wants to offer opinions or suggestions. 
Sometimes out of fear or derision a person doesn't venture giving an answer. Sometimes certain prodding can volunteer the person from opening their mouth. 
Leadership skills develop only when there is free expression of speech. Offering opinions or participating in the discussion constructively determines the persons ability to lead a group. Sometimes it's important to seek opinions from the quiet members and egging them onwards to express themselves talks of a healthy quality of the leader. 
I have had a very suppressed childhood where I wasn't allowed to offer any opinions of any kind. Constantly cajoled and coerced by others I never ventured to give my two pence to anything or anyone. This introverted nature went on for many years till I reached the age of a teenager. Once having pushed deliberately into a singing contest by the class teacher, I was made to face a crowd of about a thousand students. I asked one of my close pals how I could overcome my fear. He advised me to consider the heads of students like cabbages in a patch and sing to them. I did accordingly and went on to win the contest. I was thereafter nominated in every contest from singing to elocution, dramatics to public speaking. During the holidays I practiced speech and voice modulation in front of a mirror. That way I was able to motivate myself into becoming an extrovert. I cannot say if mine was an easy case or not. Yet, I could break the barrier set by my own shortcomings to overcome my weakness. 
Every human being needs to express themselves so that they could feel motivated into being a part of this universe. The ones who control or dictate terms should relax their tyrannical approach. As long as their allowance of participation of others doesn't undermine their own dominance, they may give leeway. But free expression is important for proper governance too. A healthy opposition can make a better governance but a tough opposition can shake the foundation of democracy. 
In our daily lives too we should offer our opinions and suggestions without fear of suppression. It is for the good leadership to consider the benefits of such an opinion and implement it if it deems fit. Otherwise taking general opinions they should take decisions based on their own judgement. 
So for all those who feel that there is suppression of their own desires, please learn to express. But don't insist on acceptance of your opinion by the leadership. Come up with constructive criticism which can offer substance to the overall plan, then alone you too can be considered a person whose opinions are valued.  

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