Am I Responsible?

10:38:00 PMKrishna Rao

God, I think I am responsible for making that person lazy. What should I do? 

You are not responsible dear girl! Why are you taking the onus on yourself? 

It would not have happened if I wouldn't have encouraged him in the first place. 

Can you stop blaming yourself? It is not necessary to take the blame. 

But I believe I hold myself responsible. The day he came home after he lost his job, I promised him that I will take care of the family. 

Then what happened? You did well, my dear. You are a good person. 

That's where the problem started. I said that I will go out and work and I did. I got a good job in the hospitality industry. 

I know you work at the hotel spa. You earn quite well and also there are those tips from customers. 

That's what made the big difference. He took advantage of that situation and stopped looking for job entirely. He just sits at home now. 

That's what was bound to happen. He did what came to him naturally. 

You know what he said was terrible. He was not happy when I took up that job of a masseuse. But now he thinks contrary. 

That's human nature to doubt someone. He was following his tendencies. It's no use. 

He complained that I have to give massage to all kinds of people first. Now he says that looking at you these idiots pay you more. He thinks I am selling my soul. 

Don't be silly girl. You are a hard working woman. You are the breadwinner and a wonderful mother. 

Then why does he think I am doing something wrong? He thinks I am a sex object and that I encourage people to do things and I get paid for that. 

I know you don't do anything wrong so let it be. He could take up the job too if he wishes but he won't. 

Yes. He says I earn a lot. He says sarcastically that with my extracurricular activities I get to earn more. He thinks I am a whore. 

Let him think whatever he has to. You are not doing anything wrong. I know you are pure at heart. 

But why does he say such mean things? I am working really hard for my family. I don't deserve this. 

Whatever he thinks or says shows how dirty his mind and tongue is. Why do you listen to it? Stay away from it. 

But I have ears and I have to listen to his dirt every day. 

The solution is simple. Don't listen. Now tell me if there is gutter water, do you step in it or skirt it and go ahead? 

I won't step in the dirty water. I will take a different path which is clean. 

That's exactly what I am telling you to do. Skirt the issue. His words are bad so don't listen. If you take them to heart then you will be hurt. So don't take it to heart. 

It's easier said but that doesn't happen. He waits for every given opportunity and says that. 

Then stay away from him. Do you really need to be in an abusive relationship? 

No. I don't need to take it anymore. I just want to be free. 

So be free. You don't have to answer him or back answer. If you do that then what is the difference between you and him? Be your good self. Don't give a rejoinder. 

I think that is the best thing. These petty squabbles are not good for my kids. 

That's my girl. Move on and don't look back. You should know when the water rises above your head you gotta save yourself. Take care. 

I will. You be with me always and guide me. Thank you God! 


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